Pitch for the Hillbilly Masshole Alliance

Both sides are saying the same thing. Both sides are threatened by each other. The majority of people in this region want to be left alone

 

Elaine Sheldon, from Parts unknown West Virginia 

We couldn't agree more. There is a deep divide in this country -- a colossal cluster F# #K of mutual destruction. 

Libby and I are both deeply concerned about the deep divide in this country -- a divide we view as mutual destruction. We would like to take action to change this mutually destructive dynamic into one of collaboration and growth. With this goal in mind, we would like to propose an alliance between West Virginia and Massachusetts. At least for now, I am dubbing this proposed alliance as the HMA -- HILLBILLY MASSHOLE ALLIANCE. 

Recently Mr. Billy Hill conducted a brief interview with me for the BBC. We've included the transcript of that interview below. This interview never actually happened. Nevertheless, it serves as a  convenient literary device to answer questions you may have about the HMA.. 

            BBC TRANSCRIPT OF MR. BILLY HILL INTERVIEWING CELEBRITY MASSHOLE NOAH CLAWSON

HILL : We are here with celebrity masshole Noah Clawson... My first question to you Mr. Clawson is why would you like to contact Elaine Sheldon, the filmmaker responsible for the film King Coal?

CLAWSON: My girlfriend and I recently watched PARTS UNKNOWN S11 E1 WEST VIRGINIA. Elaine Sheldon was one of the West Virginians that Anthony Bourdain interviewed. We said to ourselves, "Let's reach out to her. It can't hurt and maybe something good will come of it." 

HILL: Were you listening to the part where Ms Sheldon explained that West Virginians don't want to change -- that they are proud of their values and lifestyle? Wouldn't an attempt to create a MASSHOLE HILLBILLY Alliance pose an existential threat to West Virginians? Wouldn't you be aggravating the very "mutual destruction" you claim to be fixing?

CLAWSON: That's possible, but unlikely. The key lies in our approach. First, we are not reaching out to implore West Virginians to change their values or "get with the times." We are not asking them to change at all. 

HILL: You are saying that you want to bring about a change via some kind of alliance with West Virginia. At the same time, you state that you don't want to change West Virginia. 

CLAWSON: Change is a paradox. Trying to force change results in stagnation through conflict. If one finds themselves in the trenches taking "enemy fire" so to speak, one is going to hunker down and fire back. One is not going to lower their weapons and leave the trench.

HILL: Let's talk more concretely about what specifically you want to do to form an alliance.

CLAWSON: Well, okay... I'd like to work with West Virginia to create a Masshole/Hillbilly folk music festival that takes place in Welch, WV. My initial proposal is that the festival focuses on Appalachian music (specifically music particular to WV) and the traditional folk music of MA (Sea Shanties, for example). There is a large concentration of people in Massachusetts who appreciate folk music. I think this would be an excellent way for the two states to connect in a positive manner without anyone sacrificing their values. 

HILL: How do you know West Virginians would want such a festival? 

CLAWSON: They might not. This idea is not absolute. It's a starting place for discussion. Along those lines, I think that we should focus on what Elaine Sheldon said in the documentary: "Rarely are people like myself the people that control our narrative -- that control our story." The festival should be an event in which West Virginian's share aspects of their culture in which they take pride. Personally, I hope it's something that connects Massachusetts and West Virginia. One idea might be to showcase the positive history of coal -- how coal helped the United States become an industrial powerhouse. What role did coal play in the development of Massachusetts? Of course, West Virginians might have different ideas. This gives us Massholes an opportunity to listen to West Virginia instead of lecturing them on how they "must change."  Listening and genuinely appreciating the value of West Virginia will help change the dynamic of mutual destruction. 

HILL: I take it that you are proposing this as a seed idea. Ultimately, you would let West Virginians control the narrative as they see fit... 

CLAWSON: Correct. Also, I think it's important to remember what Elaine Sheldon said... Something about the press depicting "dirty-faced kids barefoot on a porch shaking LBJ's hand... Appalachia is a lot more than that." The "more than that..." Whatever that may be... That's what I hope to showcase. The "more than that" allows us to put contentious political issues aside for a while. I see this festival as an opportunity for West Virginia artists, artisans, foodies and more to display and sell their products...

HILL: I know you wanted to talk more about creating a mutually beneficial economic connection between West Virginia and Massachusetts, but we are running low on time. I just want to ask you why you think you're qualified to initiate such a project.

CLAWSON: . Really it's more of my girlfriend, who has experience organizing and planning multicultural festivals. She has a lot of connections to people who are experts in folk music, and have organized folk music events, As for me, the Massachusetts / West Virginia connection is my idea. It's an extension of ideas I developed in my novel MANDELBROT THE TREE. As far as solving problems goes, the government has not been cutting it. Ordinary folks need to step up and do something. 

HILL: Noah, Thank you very much for your time.

CLAWSON: You're welcome Bill.